1. |
anything, anymore
02:32
|
|||
|
i have been awake much too long.
stay up every night writing songs.
& i am trying, trying.
i'm trying.
i'm trying, i'm trying.
i haven't been myself the past few months.
& i am scared i'll die much too young.
but i am trying, trying, trying.
i'm trying.
believe me, i'm trying.
when you hear my name does it hurt?
i would apologize. . . but that would make things worse.
& i am lying, lying.
i'm lying, i'm lying, i'm lying.
i've tried to write letters, but they're all too long.
you said it gets better, but you were wrong.
& i am trying, trying.
i'm trying.
you know that i'm trying.
|
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2. |
the atlantic
03:09
|
|||
|
i'm lying when i say that everything has been fine
since you left me.
i'm going crazy.
so i'm sending an email for maybe the third or fourth time.
i tried to call you,
but got your voicemail.
i am dying to know exactly just what you think
about all my songs
because they've gotten better.
i am staring at the photographs pinned up in my bedroom
& i see the ocean.
i drink the atlantic.
& i am panicking.
i've been running away from a pack of wolves every night
in a straight jacket.
|
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3. |
in hotel rooms
02:16
|
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|
you're drunk again.
i pick up the phone & barely make out your voice.
the words are slurred.
you sound like the ocean only without all the noise.
i thought that we were in love,
but that was back when we were in the 2nd grade
twelve years ago.
now, i don't know.
yeah.
now i'm 19,
maladjusted & hiding from everything
in hotel rooms
where floral wallprint only brings back thoughts of you.
i peel it off slowly,
but it starts to grow back &
i start to fall asleep
fully-clothed
on top of sheets.
yeah.
i read this in a book.
it said:
"chess players only want pieces they already took".
oh, for heaven's sake.
i call myself an artist,
but i hate all the art i make.
kick my ribcage in
over & over again
until i'm in love with my best friend.
if i gave this up would you love me then?
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4. |
en passant
01:52
|
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|
i will miss
this old house once occupied by you.
i will miss
the nervous things that i thought in the living room.
i will miss
picture frames framing faces i never knew.
i will miss picking your brain.
i will miss disappointing you.
i will miss
being 18. i think about it every day.
i will miss
falling in love with all the girls that didn't talk to me.
i will miss
laughing with my friends in a basement in new jersey.
i will miss everything.
|
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Winter This Year Princeton, New Jersey
all songs written & recorded by nick pane.
somewhere in new jersey.
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